"Well, that's over."
Yes, it is Quote Other People Day on the blog today. LWC provides her review of SWEIIIROTS. The short version for me is: It wasn't that bad, really. Spoilers and shit on the way! Be thou warnedeth!
Bad Things:
1) The droid that coughed.
2) As Evan pointed out, in that first space battle, a few dozen starships would have been just fine, we didn't need A MILLION.
3) The lightsaber fights weren't that great. Just lots of hacking away. What happened to Nick Gillard?
4) Yoda still looks stupid fighting with a lightsaber. Funny how they gave him things to stand on while he fought.
5) Chancellor Emperor Darth Sidous Palpatine was really chewing up the fucking scenery. It is possible to be over the top in a movie that's nearly over the top all the time.
6) The Jango clone named Commander Cody. Jesus, Lucas, are you paying them royalties? There's a difference between a ripoff and an homage.
7) What shall we do with Mace Windu? I know. Let's cut his hand off. Because WE'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
8) The flying around on rocks lava bit at the end was real stupid looking. Looked like a bad 50s sci-fi movie.
9) Silly looking Frankenstein scene with Vader coming off the board.
10) The only good music was recycled stuff. No new memorable pieces of music (like "Duel of the Fates," for example).
11) Wookiee conversations remind me of the first thirty minutes of the Holiday Special. Not a good thing.
Good Things:
1) General Grievous kicked serious ass, except for the coughing thing.
2) Looks like Portman and MacGregor figured out that they only get one take, so make it good. Nice jobs from both.
3) I don't have to watch Hayden Christensen ever again if I don't want to. Okay, that was a Bad Thing I hid in the Good Things.
Plot Holes Remaining:
1) If Artoo could kick ass like that, why was he such a wimp in later episodes?
2) Why the Hell would you hide Luke on Daddy's home planet? Still seems dumb to me.
3) What happened to Naboo and why are there no Gungans in later episodes?
4) Am I crazy, or was Vader's ship at the end NOT a Star Destroyer? The bridge looked the same, though.
5) Why did an eight-year-old boy make a droid with a British butler's foppish mannerisms and accent?
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11 comments:
"6) The Jango clone named Commander Cody. Jesus, Lucas, are you paying them royalties? There's a difference between a ripoff and an homage."
Oh, now I have to see this! Commando Cody was my favorite TV show when I was about 5. And you are one of only two people I have ever met who remembers it.
>1) The droid that coughed.
I'm pretty sure that was just a battle suit with a living thing in the middle. Like a Dalek.
>2) As Evan pointed out, in that first space battle, a few dozen starships would have been just fine, we didn't need A MILLION.
The number of ships didn't bother me. Things have changed and they should play with thier toys. What bothered me is that the scene had very little clever about it. It was way too long for the content it provided. The artoo thing was cute, but that was about it.
Ani banging his ship into Obi-wans was the big, exciting move? They really should have been able to come up with something fun there, and they left me hanging badly.
>4) Yoda still looks stupid fighting with a lightsaber. Funny how they gave him things to stand on while he fought.
The Yoda fighting does look really dumb. They use motion blur to try to cover up how dumb it looks, but is is pretty poor. They should have watched the Clone Wars cartoon fighting, as it was much more entertaining to me.
>6) The Jango clone named Commander Cody. Jesus, Lucas, are you paying them royalties? There's a difference between a ripoff and an homage.
I agree, it was pretty stinky.
>7) What shall we do with Mace Windu? I know. Let's cut his hand off. Because WE'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
Just when I could almost care about him as he was doing some charactery things instead of speaking trite lucasbabble, he gets a stupid death. ug.
>8) The flying around on rocks lava bit at the end was real stupid looking. Looked like a bad 50s sci-fi movie.
Didn't get the droid that vader was skimming on. WTF was he following the other platform for?
>9) Silly looking Frankenstein scene with Vader coming off the board.
Yeah, it was unnecessary.
>10) The only good music was recycled stuff. No new memorable pieces of music (like "Duel of the Fates," for example).
But as LWK pointed out, there was some nice references at the end. But yeah, nothing to original.
>11) Wookiee conversations remind me of the first thirty minutes of the Holiday Special. Not a good thing.
Heh. I HATED the droid jabber too. How completely tiresome. Can't think of entertaining things for characters to say, so go for cheap (cheap!) babble again.
Emotionally, the most powerful parts of SWEIIIROTS for me were the scenes on Alderaan and Tatooine with the two best themes from the whole saga. Those moments were only powerful because of the characters from the first three movies, which just invalidates the whole prequel trilogy.
What did we learn from these three movies? Anakin was a petulant brat. The Force lives in your blood like cholera. Luke and Leia's mother gave up the will to live. The Jedi were self-important daydreamers that were gunned down like cattle. Thanks for explaining all of that, George, couldn't have lived without it.
Now that we've seen all three prequels, I don't think that Lucas knows the difference between story and backstory. Interesting facts alone do not a narrative arc make.
Who did we root for in the final battle of Episode III? Did we want Anakin to win and survive? How can we root against General Obi-Wan Kenobi? Where is the "Luke" of the prequel trilogy: the naïve youth who becomes a man and a hero? Anakin was an arrogrant brat who grew up to be a foolish young man. If he could "see things before they happen," why did he ally with Palpatine?
Most importantly, we didn't have a roguish gambler or a farmboy youth to counterpoint against the stultifying boredom of politicians and Jedi. Jar Jar Binks was probably supposed to fill the role of foil and comic relief for the prequels, and without him the pedantic speeches were even more lifeless.
There is no heroic story arc in the Star Wars prequels, no one to root for, no one to identify with. All we have is the backstory notes from Lucas' legal pad.
Agree 100% with that analysis - no drama and no heroes. Just a history lesson. BTW you appear to be talking to yourself :)
> 1) If Artoo could kick ass like that, why was he such a wimp in later episodes?
He fired off that rocket too close to baby Leia's crib, so Bail had him "fixed."
> 2) Why the Hell would you hide Luke on Daddy's home planet? Still seems dumb to me.
Vader thinks he killed Padme while she was still pregnant. Ergo, he doesn't know he even has kids.
Though why they didn't change his name to "Luke Lars" like they did with Leia is a little iffy.
> 3) What happened to Naboo and why are there no Gungans in later episodes?
I'm sure they took care of Naboo right after they swung by Alderaan in ANH.
> 4) Am I crazy, or was Vader's ship at the end NOT a Star Destroyer? The bridge looked the same, though.
Didn't notice. But didya see Tarkin?
> 5) Why did an eight-year-old boy make a droid with a British butler's foppish mannerisms and accent?
I'm guessing he put him together with whatever junk he could scrounge up from Watto.
My thoughts:
1) Big agreement on the music. I said that exact same thing to myself after I listened to the soundtrack. Williams kind of phone this one in.
2) Tarkin was played by Wayne Pygram, who was absolutely delicious as Scorpious in Farscape. When he didn't even speak, I wanted to scream. Speaking of...
3) Vader screaming "Noooooooooo"! All I could think of was "Khaaaaaaaaaaaan"! Thank GL for making Shatner look Oscar worthy.
4) Droidbabble. That was my biggest complaint with the first 30 minutes of the movie. "Yep, that's a Jedi spaceship alright".
5) Grievous coughing. WTF? With no explanation??
6) The reason for the space battle at the beginning is that Lucas needed to beat Peter Jackson's record of simultaneous computer generated things happening on screen at the same time. I paid $7 for a "who's got the bigger dick" contest.
7) Commander Cody. I missed that but check out the scene where he hands Obi-Wan the lightsaber. It's a CGI body with a head added. Look at clumsy it looks when he tries to put the helmet on. C'mon Lucas, build a fucking suit of armor or two. You don't have to CGI everything.
8) Apparantly, if you cut a Jedi's hand off, you get all his power. Wait, that sounds familiar. Did you also notice at one point someone referred to a lightsaber as a sword?
What I did like:
1) I enjoyed the end battle. I felt it was satisfying and true to the story we've heard for years.
2) I also enjoyed Obi-Wan on screen. Every scene he was in was my favorite. You could really see MacGregor working Sir Alec Guiness into the character. It was probably the best acting in the trilogy.
3) I like the ablity to say "Fuck You George Lucas". I'm done with you.
Whew. Bring on Narnia.
I agree with every single negative thing stated in this thread.Yet I'm going to go see it again by myself only 3 few days after the first viewing. Explain that shit. I cannot. But I am dying to see it again. Maybe it's because the visuals cannot be denied, maybe it's the emotional release of finally seeing Luke and Leia come into being, who knows. "Call him..(sputter)...Luke, call her..(sputter).. Leia, I'm gonna die now."
Now I'm talking with myselfj too. Why do I want to see it again? Despite generally amateur character development, there were some satisfying moments in that realm. I particularly liked Windu telling Ani that he now trusted him after he spills Palpatine = Sidious. That seemed a genuine moment for both actors (non-Lucas), made all the more powerful by the fact that Ani was about to get the respect he wanted and you know he's going to turn it down.
Well, I think I mentioned this somewhere, but the good actors seem to have given better performances in this flick, despite the horrid lines they had to spout. Like they realize that Lucas doesn't know what he's doing, but they can make up for it knowing how he works.
Hey, didn't Leia said she remembered her mother? What bullshit!
Funny you should say that Reynolds, because I want to see it again in the theater myself. One thing I did realize is that I went into the film wanting to hate it, because I'm so over Lucas. There were a lot of things to hate, but I did like certain moments. As long as I only see a matinee (or get a free ticket as I did the first time) then it's ok. I won't need to shower afterwards.
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