Thursday, February 24, 2005

Fortune cookies

Many of the "fortunes" you find in fortune cookes are not fortunes at all. A fortune should be A foretelling of one's destiny. (From, Fount From Which All Wisdom Flows.) The cookie must talk about you, and it must talk about the future. Second person, future tense.

Facts in present tense are not fortunes. I call these "breaking news" cookies.
Hell is paved with good intentions.
Someone can read your mind.
Whether you are happy or not, your life is the only treasure you ever truly possess.

A bit of advice is not a fortune. Most "fortune" cookies are actually advice cookies.
Avoid taking unnecessary gambles.
Show your love and your love will be returned.

Following are some actual fortune cookies, foretelling my destiny.
You will soon travel to a pleasant place.
You'll accomplish more and more if you try now.
Your lover will never wish to leave you.
Your deeds today will be your memories tomorrow.


Jerry said...

I'd like to see "reality" fortune cookies:

You'll meet a man, have kids, grow fat, divorce.Your wife's cheating on you and she's a better lover.You'll be audited by the IRS and sent to prison. Don't drop the soap.

Shocho said...

Ugh. That meets my definition of "fortune" as in "fortelling destiny," but not so much as in "fortunate."

Here is a company that will make custom fortune cookies, so you can surprise and depress your friends with such lovely sentiments.