Welcome to the Taliban.

The pictured festering heap of semi-American Fisher-Price car is what I got for a rental. Let this be a warning to you all! When you ask for a "mid-size" (Hertz calls it a "C" to make it sound like a nice boob size) make sure you say, "I want a CAR please, not an SUV!"

It's a Dodge Caliber. When the guy told me what I was getting, he pronounced it "Kalleebarr" and I thought he said, "Taliban." So that's what we've been calling it. I hate it. I can't see out the back, and I'm sitting upright about 6 feet off the ground. It's the "SXT" model, which stands for, "SuX Totally."

Mine is white. Red would be better. Everything is better in red.

UPDATE: Actually, there's more to this story. When we went to pick up the car, there was a Toyota Highlander in our assigned spot 183. We jumped in and it had the "NeverLost" GPS map system. I immediately programmed our destination (not that easy, took a few minutes). Then we drove out, and they said, "You have the wrong car, you'll have to go back." So we climbed into the Taliban, and waved bye bye to the Toyota that knew where our hotel was. Maybe it still does.