Herbert F. Kornfeld found dead.

If you've been a fan of accounts receivable supervisor Herbert F. Kornfeld's urban professional essays in The Onion, you'll be as saddened as I when you hear this tragic story of "White-On-White Violence." Herbert was accounts receivable supervisor at Midstate Office Supply. From a recent article by Herbert, entitled "A Day Off? Sheeit":

Foe a while, I lifted weights, but then I wuz like, fuck this, I already mad ripped. Then I caught some-a tha bitchez on Court TV. That sweet, sweet ho Nancy Grace wuz on, an' I had 2 whip it out an' start hittin'. She wuz in one-a her hard-ass moods, bitchin' 'bout it ain't right some ho from Oklahoma got off foe shankin' her man, so it wasn't two minutes befoe I busta nut and switched tha bullshit off. Work is where us A.R. bruthahs thrive. Once on tha outside, it a different story, y'all. They less numbahs 2 krunch. Some y'all can balance yo' checkbook or figger yo' taxizzes, true dat. But that ain't enuf, know what I'm sayin'? Bruthahs got 2 keep they minds occupied.

You will be missed, Daddy H.