Saturday, May 26, 2007

Take what you can. Give nothing back.

I wish they'd said that at the start of The Twelve Hours Of Walt Disney's Pirates Of The Caribbean At Patience's End. Oh, you say it was only three hours? Whaddaya know. I can't remember ever before stepping out of a movie about 90 minutes in... yeah, I sorta had to go to the bathroom, but mostly I was just falling asleep and figured I wouldn't miss anything.

OH MY GOD there's a spoiler coming. STOP READING NOW! SCRATCH OUT YOUR EYES! TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER!

Just let me ask one question: The Brits had about a thousand ships there at the end, right? (A clear case of Elephantisis of the Copy & Paste.) Anyway, eight pirate ships up against, let's say, ten times as many enemy ships. So you sink the British flagship and the rest RUN AWAY? What does your British Armada say to the King when you get back? "Well, they sank our favorite ship, it was the yellow one, and then we got all sad and left."

2 comments:

Bpaul said...

Someone tried to talk me into seeing the opener of this last night. But it was the same guy who tried to talk me into seeing the Spiderman movie on its opening night.

I love the guy and all, but.....

(we did enjoy Grindhouse tho)

Bp

Shocho said...

The way that some people act, I think they think that every time they show a movie, they remove a scene. It's like IF WE DON'T SEE IT RIGHT NOW OPENING NIGHT and I don't get that, cause with a few exceptions (oh my God the changes to Star Wars... "Episode IV"? Puhleeeze!) the movie doesn't change.

In fact, sometimes if you wait longer, you get more, like deleted scenes (which I hate, they almost always should have stayed deleted).

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the movie doesn't begin shrinking upon first showing.

So I guess what I'm really saying here, is skip the pirate movie. LWC loved it, the way I love a vampire and guns movie even if it sucks.