"No Lohanboobies for you."

A fine quote to start this post from our beloved Ana Marie Cox. I don't know why a young actress-slash-singer wants to look like the Sea Hag from Popeye. When she gets the buzzard, it's all over.

For that matter, I don't know why she wants to look like every other actress in Hollywood by bleaching her hair. I just don't get it. An AP article explains that she has a new "exercise regimen," which evidently involves REMOVING HER BREASTS. The cute girl with the auburn hair and the are-they-fake-or-not boobs now has neither.

She's going to host SNL tonight, and I can't decide if I should try to watch, terrified and peeking through my hands over my eyes, or just let it go and not worry about it. Morbid fascination and outright disgust battle for supremacy. There MUST be something more important for me to think about.