Worst winner.

If you've been in a fantasy sports league, I'm sure you've seen this phenomenon: You have scored the second-best point total in the league this week. There's only one problem: The guy you played scored the first-best. In other words, you could have beaten anybody in the league except for your opponent. I call this "Best Loser."

This week, I found the other end of this phenomenon. My opponent and I scored fewer points than every other team in the league. Which means that if either of us had played anybody else, we would have lost. But he played me, and I beat him. That makes me the "Worst Winner."

The really weird thing is (and here's a tip) that I had one team's kicker and the other team's defense tonight. I could have started my other kicker, but I'm not bright enough to figure that out.

Which meant that as my kicker scored points, my defense lost points. It was a real nail-biter for a while there, but I finally got a field goal to stick and a couple of sacks from the D to eke out a 4-point win.

It sucks to be Worst Winner, but not as much as it sucks to be Best Loser. Of course neither of those suck worse than losing to the Worst Winner. Because no matter how ugly, winning is better than losing.