Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Guilty pleasures.

I'm here to talk about movies. The kind of movies you have fun watching. You can't skip them when you see them on TV. But they'll never make your Top 100. They'll never win an Oscar, and they don't make any kind of Best Of lists.

Sometimes, you know they're bad. Really bad, like you kind of cringe when people find out you like them. But I'm here to say, step forward! Take a stand! There are shitty movies you love, and I want to know what they are. I'll come clean with a few I've thought of recently. I'm sure I've got more than this.

Alien Vs. Predator - I like this movie a lot. What did you expect? The fight scenes between the eponymous beasties are terrific. I even like the dopey plot line with the human chickie who gets the "killer" mark from Fred the Predator.

Help! - This movie is fun all the way through. Who can forget "The Amazing Adventure of Paul on the Floor"? Or the way the bad guy says, "Bee-at-tulls"? Or the crazy British henchman who can't get the right plugs? I love this movie.

Tank Girl - Yes, the comic was excellent, but so was the comic for Barb Wire. (I can't even bring myself to put BW on this list.) Anyway, Lori Petty driving a tank with Naomi Watts as Jet Girl. "Feeling a little inadequate?" Malcolm McDowell!

Bedazzled - You know that Brandon Fraser is funny. Admit it. Liz Hurley is deliciously devilish, and I can't help but laugh every time she shows up as another male fantasy icon.

Big Trouble in Little China
- Sure, we all love this movie, but it's pretty damned crappy, let's face it. Not gonna win any awards. But what fun!

Resident Evil - That one and the second one too. It's not just about Milla kicking ass. Zombies, shotguns, you know the drill. This is fun stuff!

Underworld - Both of 'em. Sure, I have a terrible fascination with vampires, I admit it. Kate in leather and vinyl. Guns, guns, guns.


George Haberberger said...

Hell, I'll admit to Barb Wire. "You a cop?" "Yeah, see my badge."

I agree about Bedazzled and everytime I see it I can't help thinking what an incredible idiot Hugh Grant was.

TheGirard said...

You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?

Aussie-Askew said...

BTiLC - abso-bloody-lutely. 80's icon, own the DVD.

Tank Girl - caught this on cable cause I knew how much you loved it. Kitzchy, but deliberately so, and how can I hate a movie that taught you Aussie slang.

BeDazzled - I have a *big* soft spot for Liz, so find this movie fun each time. Ok, 'soft' may not be the right word there.

Alien v Predator - had moments, but could have been so much more. I prefer Aliens 3, and 4 for that matter - at least #4 had a kick-arse crew and a dark-sided Ripley). The whole AvP premise was awesomely stupid, and none of the characters got any love. Enjoyed the final battle, hated the last scene (they wouldn't check for that??). Next sequel is apparently determined to be R-rated. We'll see.

Resident Evil - love Milla, hate most of those movies. They just make so little sense, I get dragged way out of the film. Here's your acid test: if you like the RE movies, then by definition you should enjoy Ultra Violet right? Nah, didn't think so.

My guilty pleasures? Off the top of my head, I'll include both Conan movies, Evil Dead III, and (wait for it)... Showgirls.

Oh hell, throw all of Verhoeven's movies from 1985 (Flesh & Blood) to 1997 (Starship troopers) under this umbrella also.

Shocho said...

Um, actually I did kinda like Ultraviolet. I know it was reprensible, though.

Yeah, Starship Troopers! That's a good one.

Michael said...

I made it through 30 minutes of Ultraviolet before turning it off and I'll watch nearly any train wreck.

I have to linger and watch bits of Street Fighter (live action, Jean Claude Van Damme) if I catch it on TV.

Friday nights on AMC (Fear Friday) is a good place to catch cheesy horror movies.

I do have quite the gem in my collection; Hercules in New York. It's Arnold's first role. YouTube is helpful; check the 1:45 mark for the classic fight against the escaped bear from the zoo.

Unfortunately, this clip doesn't have the overdub version where Arnold's voice was overdubbed with an American.

Shocho said...

Street Fighter? Yeah! What about Mortal Kombat? Talisa Soto, right?

You guys have come clean with some great confessions, and this has been cool.

Michael said...

Ooh, I forgot about Mortal Kombat. I remember catching bits and pieces of the TV series late at night. It seemed to be better than the movie. I did see MK, but have yet to see MK2 which is reportedly worse.

Bpaul said...

/agree with Tank Girl, Big Trouble, and Underworld.

A big one for me was this summer's Transformers.

Ong Bak for its gritty stunts and talented martial arts.

Mkae said...

The Running Man. Richard Dawson as an evil game show host is quite simply, the best casting in Hollywood history. Plus, lots of great cheesy lines like "where were you hiding that?"