S***r B**l Blend-Off.

If you've never seen the guys at Will It Blend stuff weird shit into their powerful blenders, here it is. They can't say "Super Bowl," so they bleep it out with "The Big Game" and other euphemisms. Funny as always. Link for video-impaired. Don't try this at home.

Also be sure to check out the Sinfest Super Bowl Special, in which Nique pwns. Again.

More Super Bowl stuff from Dave Barry today (who says it's raining in Miami right now). This is an article you're supposed to show to your wife, if your TV does not have an 11-foot diagonal (a large diagonal is important to a man) which requires you to watch the game from your driveway (this is a good thing).

SMALL TVS CAUSE CANCER, STUDY SHOWS

NEW YORK OR BOSTON -- (AP) -- A scientific study, done by scientists, has shown that small television screens cause cancer.

''If your TV set is not the size of, at minimum, a Toyota Camry, you are taking a serious medical risk,'' stated Dr. Harold Gropenfinger, a scientist. "A person who would deliberately expose her family, including children, to a smaller TV is, in my scientific opinion, scum.''

Dr. Gropenfinger won the 1998 Nobel Peace Prize for Science for discovering that beer prevents heart disease.

Let me just add at this final juncture that I do not think of Prince when I think of football halftime, and similarly, Cirque du Soleil will perform in the pre-game show, and to this I say, WHAT THE FUCK???