My life as a barista.
I needs me a cup of coffee every day. Sometimes I don't have another one all day, but I need one to hold off the coffee headache. This is not caffeine addiction, according to some article I read on the web which I agreed with and therefore remembered.
I have a Black and Decker Cup-at-a-time™ coffee maker, which belonged to my Mom. LWC doesn't drink coffee, so it would be a terrible waste to make a pot of any size, and this thing is just perfect. It has a permanent filter, so it's really easy to use. Unfortunately, I make coffee early in the morning before I'm awake, so I've screwed it up lots of different ways.
Zen Coffee - I forget to put coffee in the basket. Coffee with no coffee. Aka hot water.
Amish Coffee - I've cleaned the thing and forgot to plug it back in. Very disappointing, no burbling noises at all.
Volcano Coffee - The filter basket doesn't align properly and the grounds leak out the side and everywhere.
Dry Coffee - I forget to put the water in. Eerie steam noises issue from leftover water inside, sounding like an angry cat.
Alzheimer's Coffee - I forget to push the button, which is a possible variation of all these types.
I should open a coffee shop and charge four bucks a cup. Where else can you get coffee like this?
Labels:
coffee
4 comments:
It doesn't matter what time of the morning it is, before you've had your coffee for the day you're bound to make mistakes making your coffee! A Catch-22 situation if ever I saw one. I just made dry coffee, right after reading about it. D'oh!
Don't forget Undergrad Coffee, where you use yesterday's grinds again.
I've made dry coffee as well.
I've also made Dumbass Coffee, where I turned on the coffee pot without putting the carafe on the burner. There was coffee all over my counter so shortly thereafter I got a new coffee pot with one of those sensors for the carafe.
Coffee is a funny looking word.
Nice to know I'm not the only one with problems. I do believe this is a chicken/egg situation indeed. Two more for the list! :)
Good luck to all you coffee drinkers out there. People wonder why we pay four bucks for some professional to make us a cup. It's a dangerous business.
This could be one of my favourite quotes in months: "according to some article I read on the web which I agreed with and therefore remembered."
Brilliant!
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