Breaking News.
Today, the Bush Administration has declared that the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina is clearly the work of international terrorists. While Al-Qaeda has not come forth yet to claim responsibility for the deaths and destruction resulting from the storm, Presidential Advisor Karl Rove reports that such a claim is soon to be faked up by the CIA. As a result of this attack on our freedom and gas prices, Bush has declared a War on Hurricanes, mobilizing the US Navy to immediately steam to the west coast of Africa to find out the source of these attacks. Meanwhile, the Joint Chiefs of Staff are looking through their list of countries whose ass we can whoop in order to plan another freedom-loving liberation. No word has yet come from the UN, but that's okay.
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8 comments:
Had I not just read a story about the death toll so far, I might have chuckled here.
Sorry Shocho, but I already watched Chuck Schumer (sp?), the D Rep from New York try to make political hay out of this disaster and it spoiled my Wheaties.
And we all know how painful that can be.
Suggestion for country to invade: the W. Indies? (Groan.)
I'm not familiar with the statements made by Schumer. I figured my post here would be over-the-top, in an Onion sort of way. YMMV.
Schumer basically called another one of his infamous press conferences and said "I've been trying to get Bush to open up the U.S. oil reserves for over a year now." The point being, Schumer thought $1.75 per gallon last year was an emergency and a disaster. Had the reserves been opened for that "emergency" at his whining it would be empty now.
Okay, as a Sometimes Democrat, I hereby apologize for this Schumer jerk. I read some stuff and he's an idiot. He seems to whine about the oil reserves on a weekly basis. I promise you I have never voted for him. Sorry about your Wheaties.
Schumer's plan for success:
1. Whine about something the administration isn't doing. Do it quick, before they have a chance to do something.
2. If the administration doesn't do anything, complain.
3. If the administration does what you suggested, take credit and tell your constituents.
4. Be a stupid dope and get re-elected by other stupid dopes.
Seems to be working for him, unfortunately.
Anyway, the real moral of my little story here is that a "War on Terrorism" is as worthless an idea as a "War on Hurricanes." If there is a moral after all.
The real issue with the gas supply is that, currently we are opperating at capacity at the nations refineries and were at a 21 month low in fuel reserves and Katrina has shut down about 10% of the capacity and damaged pipelines. We don't have a shortage of crude oil, we have a shortage of refinary capacity; but the facts and truth never stopped eather side from blowing their hot air.
One valid war-related question, on Day 6 of the Katrina devastation with thousands still trapped in the city, might be "where are all the helicopters and National Guard"?
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